I always hesitate a bit when deciding what to write on National Infertility Awareness Week. In the past I’ve written multiple posts throughout the week… which sometimes seems a little easier since I don’t have to narrow down to only one idea. I’ve only been able to write a little bit recently so this feels a little bit higher stakes. My ONE post for awareness this week.
So if I wanted to say ONE thing about infertility – what would I say?
I could share how 1 in 8 couples struggle with infertility. I could share that a study shows that women who struggle with infertility experience the same stress, anxiety and depression as those who have been diagnosed with cancer or AIDS. I could talk about the financial expense, the marriage strain, the isolation and depths of loneliness. I could write a book on all the ways you will feel hurt by people’s ignorant or insensitive or unhelpful comments – – and what people who love you COULD do. (See my series on “Loving Your Friend Through Infertility“)
But if I’m only going to stand on ONE truth today it’s this:
God’s goodness in abundant in infertility.
Though it may not be as obvious as a story of triumph over struggle or seeing full bellies and little faces – God is so good in infertility. Jesus is with us. He loves us. He comforts us in our suffering, He weeps with us. His goodness is apparent when we look to his face.
In our isolation, God seeks us out, calls us to trust Him. He gives us loving spouses and caring friends. He gives us the Holy Spirit in our hearts to pray when all we can muster are desperate sighs. When people hurt us, he comforts us. He reminds us their words aren’t who we are. When we question our worth, God reminds us we have ultimate intrinsic worth because we are created in His image. When we question if Jesus is in control, He reminds us that He created the entire universe. When we feel like we’re the only ones who have ever felt this deep of a pain, Jesus shows us the nails in his hands. When we wonder if He really loves us, He shows us the suffering and pain he took for us on the cross. When we wonder if he is powerful enough to change our circumstances, He reminds us He defeated death forever.
Infertility is not a cosmic punishment. Infertility is not something out of his control. Infertility is something that Jesus allowed into our lives to bring us closer to Him and that His name would be glorified.
I know it doesn’t really make sense. I know it’s easy to think “but I WOULD know you better and you would be MORE glorified if you took this away from me! If I got pregnant! If an adoption would just go through!”
His ways are higher than our ways and His thoughts higher than our thoughts. (Isa 55:8)
We only see a glimmer, a minuscule piece of the tapestry where God sees the entire majestic picture. It doesn’t mean it won’t be hard. It doesn’t mean you won’t struggle. But trusting Jesus though it means you can cling to Him when you’re weeping, when you’re questioning and when you’re angry. And just like He always does, He will show up… He will carry you through your suffering and reveal His love and grace and goodness to your heart. Praying that God would reveal his goodness to you in the struggle.
- A Letter to All of You
- A Letter to Those Crossing Over to Adoption
- A Letter to Those who are Done Trying
- A Letter to Those in the Midst
- A Letter to Those Just Diagnosed
- A Letter to Those Wondering